he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize