It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
