Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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