I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
