Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize