why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
