so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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