your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
