arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We are all done wearing pants today
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
