Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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