Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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