We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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