I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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