Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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