Duck Duck Cougar?
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
