He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
