Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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