I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
