C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You made out with two different species that night
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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