google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
