Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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