I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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