Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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