my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
