just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
All I want is dick and wine.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize