As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize