whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
