the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
