we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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