We won't sleep together?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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