around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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