Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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