I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
