ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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