pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
