Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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