Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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