So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
