and you said cock pushups were impossible
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
