Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
