this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
