Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
In America we eat man semen.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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