Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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