The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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