brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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