i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
