glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
