the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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