I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
