it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
