the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
cat food counts as protein by the way
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
