I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I still have a little drunk in my system
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
