i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
