those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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