would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize