Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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