Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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