If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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