The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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