Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
