Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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