Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
