Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
